Wednesday, March 28, 2007

21st Century Emancipation Proclamations, Part Three

Rueters, Fakehamshire, England

In the roughly 6 months that have passed since the USA's presidential election, so much has happened, as you are well aware. No longer do I write to you, dear readers, from the plush Rueters office towers of downtown Los Angeles. While media outlets have sent a deluge to your eyes, ears, and hearts, I have been on a voyage to find refuge. For I was part of an anti-administration "liberation action" which led to my temporary paralysis, blindness, and deafness caused by something much harsher than pepper spray. And that experience of tyranny was so severe that I needed to find a new, undisclosed location to report on just how frightening things are in the US of A.


When the governor of Massachusetts declared that as a state, they could not support President Greyback because of what they wittily described as "a long train of abuses", which included a 5000% tax on books without pictures, a threat to end abortion without passing any laws on the matter, and so on, my office in LA was anxious to see what that statement from Boston would exactly mean.

What came as an utter shock to those watching the legislature of the US government was the fact that in response to these harsh words from Massachusetts, the Homeland Security Act version 5.1 was enacted unanimously by Congress. However, what was striking about the votes on this bill was that those senators who had been dragging their heels in the sand in opposition to previous versions of the Homeland Security act were all absent from the vote. Conservative pundits blamed this on the "lazy socialist tendencies of the liberals who would dare go against the president". Whatever the reason, they were gone--but what would be the results of passing this new version of the bill?

This became clear when in a matter of hours, all phone records, e-mails, credit card purchases, and some would argue, thoughts of every inhabitant of the USA, citizen or not, were uploaded for access and analysis on the "Universal Freedom Database", or UFD.

National Guard troops swept through Massachusetts, and in outrage, New Hampshire, Vermont, Maine, New Jersey, New York, and even little Rhode Island joined their side, vainly attempting to stop these actions. Citing references to the US civil war of 1860-1865, they decided that they would take objection to the words of the pledge of allegiance, which state that the republic for which the flag stands is "indivisible", and try to undo the indivisible nature of the USA by creating what some have called the inverse of the CSA, or Confederate States of America. For this confederacy was called the LSA, or Liberal States of America. Alas, this only led to a more thorough application of Homeland Security version 5.1 in those states.


But oh, the pledge of allegiance. That "indivisible" clause suddenly became the talk of all towns, especially as news started pouring in from the opposite coast. California Governor Hercules Terminator found himself locked into a cell with no warrant and no charges in Guantanamo Bay. When he arrived, it was clear that any anti-Greyback member of the California state legislature was already there, as well as both federal senators, who were among the most vocal opponents of Greyback.

Walter Reed Hospital, in Washington DC, was converted to a penitentiary (as the conditions were too harsh to support actual patients), and East Coast "dissidents" were shipped there for further questioning, and, in President Greyback's words "to be sure that this tide of revolt and anarchy is quelled by peace and justice."

At the same time as this whirlwind of politically important events, scientists at the National Institutes of Health determined, using new techniques of stem cell analysis, that a zygote truly is a human being. Among peer reviewers of both pro-life and pro-choice persuasions, the data were compelling. Thus, scientifically, the debate for abortion was over, as long as you trusted those scientists.

There were those who cried out with glee, and said that this was all done to end abortion. In states such as Colorado, cries of "victory for the unborn!" rang through church sanctuaries and town halls. The imprisonment of those in power in pro-choice states was described by prominent pro-life pastor Dudley Hibbes as "a necessary nuisance that was needed to give liberty to all, including the unborn. With those new findings by scientists, it's clear that we were right all along."

As the Liberal States of America decayed into nothingness, and new leaders of those states were put into power by the Greyback administration, we have undoubtedly all read his 21st Century Emancipation Proclamation. I have no need to cite it all at length, as it as been sent to every house and been broadcast on TV day and night.

But as I sat in my office at Rueters, I had to ask an important question, which I must try to impress these questions upon my readers, now that I am able to write you again:

At what cost will we provide liberty for all?
Do we provide it for all when we oppress others in the process?
Does discussion of these matters matter, now that the question of indivisibility is answered?

In my next account, the answer to these questions will be provided,
for I will tell you of my own experiences in California. The story of how I got to flee from the limelight to the cover of night will explain why I and thousands of others have fled for refuge, in many cases to other countries. The 3 months of rebellion against Greyback's administration may be over, and abortion is now illegal everywhere in the world, but I would argue that we are only beginning to feel the effects of this administration's actions.

But if these accounts have not provided any cause for concern, my last installment will, as long as your conscience is not dulled by the drudgery of the day.


---Rueters is a fictitional news source. If only its reportings did not bear a resemblance to aspects of reality past, present or future.

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