Thoughts on life in general, using generalities (generally)

It's fascinating how one can be captivated by the future-hope for better times may have been the single driving factor which guaranteed the outcome of this most recent Presidential election. The same can be said of the majority of the elections which now find their place in the pages of history.

For so long I have lived in neglect of the present to embrace my thoughts and plans which were wrapped around some sort of notion of an ideal future. The perfect job, the perfect home, both materially and in the immaterial matter so often forgotten by modern sages who empty their hearts to "increase" their "minds".

I say this with restrained lament, because it is inevitable that the trainee looks to the future. The one who is on the road wants to consider their destination, but at the same time the sights along the way can be obscured by such forward-thinking. That forward thinking which only sets goals and considers them is of course the most backwards way of all, because it leaves out what could be enjoyed--the great trip of life.

My mind screams, "Oh well--So much for thinking of how I could have had a better time during my training"-it's neither here nor there in this new world where I have what could be considered by many accounts (perhaps all but the accounts of the wisest) a dream job. What is striking about my new found situation is that I was so used to the world of wondering about the future that I almost feel more inept than ever. What is to be done with my time, now that there is none of this soul-searching about what career I should go into? I can only imagine how the newly retired person feels, excepting those poor souls whose careers were more slavery than craftsmanship.

So yes, generally speaking, things are so amazingly great in my life I can scarcely utter an appropriate form of thanks to God for the changes that I see on a daily basis...and yet it feels like life is too eerily quiet. Am I in a lull before a new storm? The trough of a wave that is about to throw me to the stars? The world around me tells me that the storms are quite wild in this the 21st century, but I may be among those who are spared, right? (crickets) It makes me hope that at some point the quiet will be a source of some semblance of solace, and not cause for concern. It makes me hope for the future, in a new way, that my future is spent in the present, and that life where the thoughts only on the future are, you guessed it, past.

christmas messages

From two bishops, one the head of the US council of catholic bishops, the other from Hong Kong.


Thanks, Fr. Dwight, for the head's up!

a great and timely video--i love the message!

Loving Chesterton more....

Yes, dear cynic, it is possible for me to love him more. I'm reading a biography of G.K. Chesterton by Joseph Pearce, and this story about an experience between one journalist who interviewed his wife Frances blew me away. She knew him so well, and had a great comment about our world. I can only assume how much we've degraded since the time of the interview, which was 101 years ago.

The message about his quip about how it's worth doing things even if done badly is so amazing. I need to sing more, is the conclusion......and you, what do you need to do badly?

‘The best thing your husband ever wrote,’ so I began, ‘was that “if a thing is worth doing at all –“’

‘It is worth doing badly,’ replied Mrs. Chesterton. ‘I know it well, because I have opened debates on the point and got everyone to agree. Look at children playing with paints,’ she continued, ‘and you will realise the truth of the paradox. Music and dancing and singing have all been banished from our lives because we are all afraid to do things badly.’

A Twitch Upon The Thread

" The moment men cease to pull against the Catholic Church they feel a tug toward it. The moment to cease to shout it down they begin to listen to it with pleasure. The moment they try to be fair to it they begin to be fond of it. But when that affection has passed a certain point it begins to take on the tragic and menacing grandeur of a great love affair."

From Evelyn Waugh's book 'A Twitch Upon The Thread', which is based on a fascinating quip by G.K. Chesterton in the Father Brown stories.

I am so astounded by how true this quote has been in my own life, both personally and in many friends and other fine folks I've met. I'm also so thankful that this is true.


On that note, today's O Antiphon resonates quite well with my heart on this matter.



O Clavis David, et sceptrum domus Israel; qui aperis, et nemo claudit; claudis, et nemo aperit: veni, et educ vinctum de domo carceris, sedentem in tenebris, et umbra mortis.

O Key of David, and Sceptre of the house of Israel, that openeth and no man shutteth, and shutteth and no man openeth, come to liberate the prisoner from the prison, and them that sit in darkness, and in the shadow of death.

I call your bluff

I read this article this morning, vis a vis Fr. Dwight Longenecker's blog.
Fr. Dwight is one of the few married priests in the Roman Catholic Church,
having been an Anglican priest first. Combine that with his healthy Anglophilia which resonates with my love of Tolkien and Lewis and Chesterton and what is often perceived as dryness or stodginess or some other -ness, I've enjoyed his blog for quite some time.

At any rate, I read that article's pitiful attempt at calling American Christians to task for not celebrating all of the elements of the liturgical season and thought, "Hey man, I call your bluff. Thanks for reminding me of all of the things I can celebrate. Let's bring all of the old celebrations back."

For my part, I'm trying by celebrating Advent, but I want to grow in my appreciation for all of the deep history in celebrating the birth of Our Lord, and His life.

So yeah, let's not take the Mass out of Christmas, but seriously, is that deficiency a basis for not wanting to focus on Christ in this time?

It's true that consistent Protestantism might lead to a full rejection of Christmas trees and December 25th as a special day, but I can say from first-hand experience that trying to do this consistently is an utterly pitiful process. Last year, when I knew that it was inevitable that I'd become Catholic, I looked at this time of year with the first ray of hope that I could embrace the traditions and my faith simultaneously. That was the start of something grand. I still have a lot of the Grinch's attitude in my heart from cynicism and self-righteous notions of consistency, but now that I'm Catholic I think I would much rather see some inconsistency in my Protestant brethren than a world of no Christmas.

With that being said, it's Advent-the time of joyfully awaiting Christmas. Today I hope to incorporate a tradition that the whiny atheist who provoked my thoughts this morning seems to be missing--the O Antiphons. In our 7 last days before Christmas, Advent is especially hopeful, and by praying these seven prayers I hope to see that hope grow in my own soul, and yours as well.

Wisdom that comest out of the mouth of the Most High, that reachest from one end to another, and orderest all things mightily and sweetly, come to teach us the way of prudence!






O Sapientia, quæ ex ore Altissimi prodiisti, attingens a fine usque ad finem, fortiter suaviterque disponens omnia: veni ad docendum nos viam prudentiæ.

the adventures of tim field (a eucharistic analogy)

Tim Field had waited his whole life for this moment.

His parents would watch him as a young boy whine and protest when they would try to use the television as a babysitter. He just would not sit still. Their "forward thinking" led them to try to make everything in life educational, even these moments of detached parenting. And so when the video player showed bright images set to the tune of classical music, it just didn't do anything for him.
Frustrated, they tried the one thing they thought they'd never expose to their child, gun violence. From one simple episode of G.I. Joe began a life-long dream of being an enforcer. Tim Field had just finished high school, but he spent the time in Boy Scouts and had been an Explorer Scout for 5 months. Accompanying police officers on duty was a dream come true-it felt like this would be a dream come true if he could actually make it through academy.

Maybe it was because his mom had been robbed at gunpoint, he didn't know. He'd leave that to the pop psychologists to prattle about.

What mattered most was today, for today Tim Field would begin his first exercise that involved a gun. The infamous target practice, where you do not merely stand from afar and try to hit targets as close as possible. No, instead he would run and duck and do all the sort of amazing twirls and whirls to clear a perimeter of any suspects. Amidst all of this were, he knew, the off-targets he'd need to avoid. The moving target that was not a target, such as an old lady or a little kid, could not be shot at. But he knew that this mock-up was dark and full of shadows. It made sense, for after all that's how the real world is.

So Tim Field breathed deep as it was his turn to go through the maze. He'd been debriefed, but he knew that he had to do well.

The world of cardboard instantly morphed into the realm of bricks and mortar, as he checked to his left and right. There was some noise above him on the right, and though they were merely machines, Tim shouted out, "Don't move, this is the police!"

That just made the cracks in the facade fade even further away. The "call-in" had told him that there were 3 suspects of an armed robbery, so he was vigilant. They could come from multiple angles, after all.

He looked closely at the target above and to the right, inching closer to make sure it was a suspect and not someone innocent. He knew that it had motion sensors which would emit a laser at him and "shoot" him if he'd get too close, but he had to be right. As he came around the "car" that was in his way, his view cleared up, and he knew it was a suspect. He fired before the suspect could fire back, and breathed a sigh of relief. But before he could exhale, the set changed from a midnight world of obscurities to a fluorescent glow of artificial daylight.

A voice came over the loudspeakers--"Cadet Field, you have missed the mark. Your first hit was off-target. Look more closely and see what you have done."

The adrenaline levels were still high in his 18 year-old frame, but they slowly ebbed as the mirage of a city street had fallen apart. As he breathed more slowly and listened to the loudspeakers, his perception of the "suspect" had slowly lost the vigor of certainty that first met him seconds before firing.

Yes, the suspect was too large to be a child, but as he looked the frown and grimace of what would look like a nefarious no-gooder turned into the wrinkles of an old man. More importantly, what was so clearly a pistol to his hawk-like eyes on the prowl transformed into a clunky metallic case, clutched closely to his chest. His suspect was no suspect, after all.

Ashamed, but having learned his lesson, Tim cried out, "Sergeant O'Neil, I'm so sorry. I was too quick on the trigger. But this was my first time, and I know that if I hesitate a bit more to be sure of who my suspect is, I'll never make that mistake again."

As he looked behind him, Sergeant O'Neil had left the control room where the loudspeakers and was walking toward Tim Field.

"You sure are right you won't make that mistake again. You are under arrest for 3rd degree murder. It's really a shame Field. I thought you'd make a great cop. Come to find out, you're a killer."

Handcuffs grated against his wrists, and Tim Field was led away.

Now, what you're thinking right now is most likely verbatim what was going through Tim's mind. Tim had been raised by parents who stayed away from thinking about violence and guns and the ways of the world as they pertain to crime. They had no idea that a law had been enacted which stated that those people who acted upon a stage where people were symbolized by cardboard cutouts were responsible to treat those symbols with the same austerity and respect as would be given to real people. And if they were not fictitious, this law would be irrelevant. However, since they are my own creations, they are as valid as butter and beer.

But why do I choose to take you through this thought experiment of a world where cops are punished for murder when they shoot at cardboard? And, if it's not clear, maybe I should answer how this is is related to the Eucharist.

Let me take you to the words of Paul the Apostle, and let's see if I can shed some light on this.

Paul writes in the 11th Chapter of 1 Corinthians:

23For I received from the Lord what I also passed on to you: The Lord Jesus, on the night he was betrayed, took bread, 24and when he had given thanks, he broke it and said, "This is my body, which is for you; do this in remembrance of me." 25In the same way, after supper he took the cup, saying, "This cup is the new covenant in my blood; do this, whenever you drink it, in remembrance of me." 26For whenever you eat this bread and drink this cup, you proclaim the Lord's death until he comes.27Therefore, whoever eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of sinning against the body and blood of the Lord. 28A man ought to examine himself before he eats of the bread and drinks of the cup. 29For anyone who eats and drinks without recognizing the body of the Lord eats and drinks judgment on himself.

What strikes me about the way that my non-Catholic Christian friends look at the Eucharist is that they would produce a world where Tim Field's arrest made sense. The Eucharist would be a mere symbol of an important reality, and while only representing the truth of Our Lord's Body and Blood, we who enter into the drama of this sacrament would be guilty if we failed to live up to the majesty of the call of the occasion. Like Tim, if we missed the mark for what the right use of the symbols were, we would fall short to the point of being guilty of the reality represented by the symbols. The cardboard wasn't actually an old man, but in the logical scheme presented before us, shooting the cardboard would be like shooting an old man. Likewise, if the bread and wine are merely bread and wine, Paul would call us guilty of sinning against the body and blood of the Lord for abuse of bread and wine.

Which leads me to say this, in conclusion--the punishment does not fit the crime.

something worth watching on TV

happy tuesday!

lather, rinse, repeat (the sounding joy)

Oh, the wonders of His love. We sing or contemplate or overlook the phrases that have been written so many years ago to acknowledge a birth that is even older than those songs, but is there monotony? Only if the wonders are not truly wonderful. But, (and this is a big but), if those wonders are unceasingly growing in grandeur and scope, the simplest song, the lamest limerick, based upon these truths, will make one shudder with fear over how faintly the first feelings grasped the truths that are contained within those truths. And it is to that I raise my glass of Advent toasts and say "Dear God, I am so sorry for parsing lines without a heart. I wish I could look to the simplest song and realize how much your love lives in these little thoughts that are made to remind me of what you did in leaving your exalted estate, and joining my own rather wretched wreck of an existence." There is no reason for such condescension save a great love. For that love, I am ever in debt, and at the same time, always the richest man on earth.

let's be more thankful, folks, and we'll be more happy

hello there. don't be afraid

Thought for today

For me, prayer is a burst from my heart, it is a simple glance thrown toward heaven, a cry of thanksgiving and love in times of trial as well as in times of joy.

St. Therese, The Little Flower

watching a Saint on Youtube

Not too many people who have been declared to be saints by the Church can be found on youtube. Among popular ones, they're often from before the 1800's, so movies are not really a possibility. St. Josemaría Escrivá is an exception-he was just canonized in 2002, having died on June 26, 1975.
Listen to him discuss work, and be ready to feel contrite for your failure to see life with such beauty and simplicity, and then feel hopeful that this can be yours (at least, to some extent) if you are willing to trust God and see things the way He wants us to see things.

another move-appropriate song post

What I WON'T miss about the DC area

I'll try to hold back here, but then again I may say too much. I don't want to sound like someone who is ultimately ungrateful for where I am. You see my tension, don't you?

Oh well, here goes.

1) The great majority of people are completely unfriendly, myself included.
As just one qualification, think about the DC area. So many people come here for internships, fellowships, vacation, to make their mark in the military/government/etc., but the point is that they're coming here. They are not from here-this is not their home. And then you have the people who are actually from here who see this constant ebb and flow of people. What is permanent, what is something I can count on? Nobody knows the answer to these questions, humanly speaking, and as such, almost everyone has their guard up. This air of indifference and apathy, etc., is something that I can't wait to get my mind away from. Oh, and there's also the air of importance that is downright disgusting. As I said, people come here on a mission, and sometimes it feels like everyone thinks that their mission is the ultimate one. Oh, human folly. Ever ubiquitous even in SoCal, but this flavor of folly really gets to me.

2) The disgusting summer.
Humidity that makes one feel guilty for breathing. It has to be more unhealthy than smoking, I can just feel it.

3) The bugs.
Maybe California is the unnatural place, but I'm used to the idea that when it looks nice outside, IT IS NICE. And maybe my foreign blood is tasty to these East Coast bloodsuckers, but whatever the reason, I just can't stay outside without having some beetle, mosquito, or wasp, bee, etc. coming after me. And then there is the elusive fear that I have of ticks. I can proudly say that in ~3.5 years I've never had one of these on my body (and no, I never even worried about them in the time before then). Meanwhile, I've heard of people coming down with Lyme disease!

4) The places called Mexican restaurants.
When I first got out here I thought, ok, where can I get some Mexican food? And of course I don't just mean On the Border or Baja Fresh, I mean some place run by a family, some place that has pozole and menudo on the weekends. The long and the short of it is, there isn't really a place like that. One place in an obscure part of DC makes that cut, but it is too hard to get to on a regular basis. A key clue that I found myself in this situation was that most places would say something like "Mexican and Salvadorean food". This was a clear sign that the patrons were from El Salvador-they meant well, knowing that the average Marylander would shrug over Salvadorean food, but darn it all that's their home territory! So they'd serve up "Mexican" "favorites" that they "knew" "Americans" would "like". And so my depression sunk to a new low.

5) The lack of a sense of service
In a land dominated by "public" "servants", it's amusing that this place has to be the worst when it comes to service. At nearly every store in my area, the customer will find himself in my shoes: you begin to ask the waiter/checker/salesperson for their help, or they strike up the conversation with a "Can I help you?" or a "Can I take your order?" Here, in the world of paper, we are fine. But going deeper, I can tell you what else accompanies these mere letters. A smirk, a shrug, a begrudging sigh, a slouch, a frown, the tone of voice that says why in the world am I serving you? This is especially true of chain stores, which may be a big reason why I am opting for more family-based businesses as of late. Whatever the reason, it's almost impossible to go to the grocery store or Barnes and Noble without wanting to tear one's hair out.

6) The horrible drivers
California is sometimes referred to as the land of the fruits and nuts, and this is true for some justifiable (and some unjustifiable) reasons. However, one area where we Californians have received a negative mark without cause is the driving department. It's true, we have areas which are very densely packed, but with that being said there is not as much insanity as what I have seen out here, and that is with very limited driving experience. I am sure my wife could bring you all to tears with the myriads of monster stories that sometimes come to me via her. As one point of substantiation, I think I have been waved at by someone letting me get over once in ~3.5 years. In California, sure, there are jerks but there are still those people that I lovingly call "humans" who actually extend this courtesy to each other on a more regular basis. In fact, when I flew out for an interview in the Bay Area, I recall leaving the airport and getting waved at when I was trying to get over 3 times in the span of ~100 miles! This also extends to the realm of pedestrians. When I would go jogging in the OC, people would stop for me and even wave sometimes (Was it some kind of mockery or curiosity at this space oddity? To me it matters not.) Over here, people die on a regular basis. And I'm not joking at this point. Ultimately, I can't wait to get away from this driving experience. Is it the abundance of out of towners? The twisty roads which predate the War Between the States? Is everyone mad that they don't live in California? I don't have the answers. I just call them like I see them.

7) Government Waste
Seeing the enormity of government first hand is frightening. It has a breathtaking element when viewed from afar, but zooming in close one can see what everyone knows--this heaving beast is far too large to properly care for itself. I won't enumerate instances of waste, and am not (necessarily) speaking about where I work, but let's just say it's something I'd rather leave out of mind, by leaving it out of sight.

8) The winter
Walking in a winter wonderland also includes sliding on a slippery ice slope and hitting one's proverbial fanny. That, and the fact that there are moments where my weak soul says "How much longer?" to days of scant sun, and awkward vesting and unvesting of the 4 or 5 layers of sweaters, jackets, gloves, beanies, gloves and the rest (think old school Gilligan's island here).
Winter is fun for 3 weeks, tops.

And yes, I know our DC winters are nothing as compared to Canada's winters.

Oh well, I think that's enough for now. Maybe I don't feel like complaining anymore because in posting about winter I'm realizing that I won't even be here during this coming winter. I'll be back in California in a mere 12 days, d.v.!!!

the sign of the cross

In my last post I mentioned that the sign of the cross is used.
I found many sites discussing its history and I think this one is really helpful to show
the great amount of sources of people who practiced this.

It's amazing how far back this practice goes.....

The Great Biblical Depth of the Catholic Mass

I have a large Missal, which contains many comments on what goes on at a Catholic Mass, as well as many prayers to aid one's spiritual life.

Because so many people are ignorant of what goes on in the Mass, both inside and outside the Catholic world, I thought it would be helpful to tell in order what happens in the order of the Mass. I'll mainly be copying what's in my book, but I'll supplement it with my own comments.

Of course, there are varieties of religious expression even within the Catholic Church, so when I can comment on how these variations manifest themselves in places like Eastern Catholic and Latin liturgies, I'll try my best. Because the Mass is divided into two sections, the Liturgy of the Word and the Liturgy of the Eucharist, I'll break up these posts into 4 sections, where each section is divided into two halves.

When I have comments, they will be shown in a unique font.


Mass begins with a bell that rings or a song that is song. This is what the notes in my Missal state.

Entrance Song

After the people have assembled, the priest and the ministers go to the altar while the entrance song is being sung. When the priest comes to the altar, he makes the customary reverence with the ministers, kisses the altar, and (if incense is used) incenses it. Then, with the ministers, he goes to the chair.

Greeting

After the entrance song, the priest and the faithful remain standing and make the sign of the cross, as the priest says:

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.

The people answer:
Amen

The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all.


The people answer:
And also with you.



In the greeting we come together and are summoned to prepare ourselves to worship the Lord, as the priest and those who come towards the altar reverently come to the altar, where the blessed Eucharist is celebrated. As the song ends, the Mass is about to begin. It technically begins as the priest begins by greeting us in the name of the Holy Trinity. In response to this invocation on God's holy name, we make the sign of the cross. Why do this? Is this mere superstition? No, it is an ancient symbol that should bring our hearts to unite the reality that Christ died for us with our own life. We are to take up our cross and follow Christ, and by making this sign we are saying that His cross is also our cross. The inner reality of the truth of the Trinity and the Cross of Christ has a verbal acknowledgment, and an outer manifestation. Our response of "Amen" brings us to
the greeting which follows the invocation on the trinity is nearly a word for word phrasing of most of the Pauline epistles. Again, the Scriptures are brought to our minds as this 21st century man is bringing our hearts to the 1st century with his greeting.
When this Biblical prayer that God be with us is brought to our ears, we respond by saying "And also with you." We echo back the hope that God's blessings be upon the priest who serves us.

As the Mass progresses, the next phase after the Greeting is entered.

Pentitential Rite
After the introduction to the day's Mass, the priest invites the people to recall their sins and to repent of them in silence. He may use these or similar words:

Coming together as God's family, with confidence let us ask the Father's forgiveness, for he isfull of gentleness and compassion.

You were sent to heal the contrite: Lord, have mercy.
The people answer:
Lord have mercy.

You came to call sinners: Christ, have mercy.
The people answer:
Christ have mercy.

You plead for us at the right hand of the Father: Lord, have mercy.
The people answer:
Lord have mercy.

May almighty God have mercy on us, forgive us our sins, and bring us to everlasting life.

Amen.

During this penitential act, which sometimes includes a longer prayer and would then call on the Lord for mercy often in Greek (in a Latin Mass this would be the only time Greek was regularly used) by saying Kyrie Eleison, Christe Eleison, Kyrie Eleison,
we are mindful of who we are; yes, we are part of God's family, but we are never free to act as though His mercy is not our all in all in sustaining us. We call on Him to be our strength and source of all forgiveness. The Biblical truth that we need to always come to Him humbly as His children who need His mercy resonates if we only spend the time to think of the words that are said.
We then go on to sing a hymn called the Gloria.

Gloria
Glory to God in the highest,
and peace to his people on earth.
Lord God, heavenly King,
almighty God and Father,
we worship you, we give you thanks,
we praise you for your glory.
Lord Jesus Christ, only Son of the Father,
Lord God, Lamb of God,
you take away the sin of the world:
have mercy on us;
you are seated at the right hand of the Father:
receive our prayer.
For you alone are the Holy One,
you alone are the Lord,
you alone are the Most High, Jesus Christ,
with the Holy Spirit,
in the glory of God the Father.
Amen.

When I first heard this song, I was amazed by its depth of truth. So many elements of what occurs throughout the life Our Lord is encapsulated in this song. It begins with the prayers of Angels who celebrate his nativity, and goes on to call him the lamb of God, which is exactly what John the Baptist calls him. It then goes on to describe His glorious status in heaven, seated at the right hand of the Father, asking him to receive our prayer. The closing part of the Gloria says why this is true--because He alone is God, the only one worthy of our adoration. When the rest of the world tells us to question his goodness, or whether someone else should be thanked, the Gloria puts our mind in the right place-on the glory of God. Again, there is so much biblical depth seen in all elements of the Mass.

When we continue this, we will cover how the reading of the Scriptures is treated, describe the homily (and answer why these sermons are so much shorter than those of the Protestant services), and discuss the Creed.

why i'll miss DC, in concrete terms

What I will miss about the DC Area

As much as I have been excited about leaving this area, I think it's fitting to make a list of the things that I will truly miss. The order is not in terms of priority, it's just the order in which things came to me as I sat and typed.

1) New Friends-I have stated elsewhere that I'm bad at making friends, but that doesn't mean that I've made no friends in ~3.5 years. I have met some very nice people in science, and in the rest of the world.

2) Weather Changes - The actual fluctuation allows the mind to really go into transition and consider things, whether it's growth in spring or death in autumn, etc. The landscape here is amazingly different from season to season. There are many complaints which spring from this good point, but I'll save that for a later post. Seeing the world raining with leaves floating down is magical, as is walking through a forest of mere sticks with rare specks of green buds of new flowers breaking through that soil greeting me as I pass by them.

3) Food - There is a great diversity of food in the area, which is probably reflective of the people who live here. From down home Southern BBQ to Lebanese food, I have grown to try many more types of food. This is partially due to my growth as an individual, and due to the different things that are out there. A corollary of this is that given the nearly absolute lack of good Mexican food here, I have been stretched from my comfort zone to try things like Peruvian food, and am so thankful that I have done so.

4) History - Seeing places that formerly resided only in books, from DC to battlefields to quaint old towns with buildings that are over 200 years old, this is something California lacks. The main exception in my mind are those things built by the Franciscan missionaries, but that has its own architectural style and feel that does not compete in a good or bad sense.

5) Memories - Given the fact that 2 of my children were born here, and that my eldest spent so many formative years here, it will be something I'll miss. This is the place where so many first steps, etc., were taken, and as such I will always have a fond place in my heart for the DC area.

6) The Metro - Public transportation is awesome, and California is lacking in this department.

7) Working at the NIH - I complain all day about being a postdoc (or it would seem at times of despair), but the NIH has been a very good place for me to develop more scientific training.

8) The Culture - Now, if you quantitated all of the things I dislike about the culture here, the scales would violently crash in the opposite direction of disdain, but let me state here what I do like about the culture here. First, there is a greater sense of formality, which translates into people dressing more nicely. In fact, I still haven't adjusted and risen to their level of anti-slovenly appearance, but it's a goal I still hold in my mind. Second, there are so many great bars and restaurants and shops and activities, it reminds me of how snobbish a Chicago friend of mine once seemed. But ultimately, there is a strong sense of society that exists in different neighborhoods out there, for good or for ill.

9) The Christian "Atmosphere" - This is another highly qualified statement, but I will say this about the area. In an environment surrounded by history and tradition, there is a respect for that history and tradition. In some (mind you, SOME) individuals, this has led to a great fervor for being connected to our roots, and I don't merely say this as a Catholic. Our Protestant friends out here have a similar appreciation, but I guess what I'm ultimately thinking about is a very ecumenical atmosphere, where Catholics are willing to dialogue with Protestants (and on both a friendly and a debate level), and vice versa. This dialogue has brought me to challenging places, but where I have ended up is so peace-giving I wouldn't trade the awkward moments for the world.

10) The wildlife - seeing deer, squirrels (grey AND black, mind you), snakes and other interesting creatures on a regular basis has been very enjoyable. Many inverse corollaries arise when we move to the insect kingdom, but again, I'm here to be thankful.

11) The Chesapeake Bay et al. - When oceans go toe to toe, the Pacific destroys the Atlantic, if only for the fact that no hurricanes come to California through my darling Western Sea. But with that being said, there is something special about the Chesapeake Bay (and the major rivers such as the Potomac) for its unique feel as a body of water that is not an ocean. The water is "dirtier" in some senses, but in another sense it feels more living. While I still haven't learned to eat the Maryland Crab with the dexterity needed to really make it enjoyable, I am amazed by the life that teems in those waters. The communities that live along this water (I'm specifically thinking of St. Michaels and Annapolis) have a character that is like a beach town but unique.

12) Living Across the Country from Family and Friends - This sounds contradictory, but there's something very valuable about spending time away from so many people. It has helped me (at least try to) grow in my appreciation for my life. Many times we spend our day in drudgery thinking the grass is always greener on the other side, and there is nothing like going to that other side and missing that first location to realize that this is human folly in action. To be relatively isolated from a large group of friends and family has reminded me that our connections with each other, no matter how strong, should be made stronger when possible. I hope to return to California with this zeal in my mind.

13) I'll leave this blank for now and when more things come to mind, will add them as they come to me.